第一章

本章表明，當天主賜給靈魂更大的恩惠時，它會如何遭受更嚴重的痛苦。對後者的一些物品進行了描述，並為這座居所的居住者提供瞭如何攜帶它們的說明。本章對於那些遭受內部考驗的人很有用。

1. 神聖恩惠點燃的愛。 2. 我們的主激發靈魂的渴望。 3. 到達最後一棟居所需要勇氣。 4. 伴隨著神的恩惠的考驗。 5. 對追求完美的靈魂提出強烈抗議。 6. 聖女德蘭的個人經驗。 7. 對開明的靈魂來說，讚美是令人厭惡的。 8.這會變成冷漠。 9. 這種靈魂的謙卑。 10. 他們對神的榮耀的熱心。 11.對讚美或責備完全漠不關心。 12.愛敵人。 13.身體的痛苦。 14. 聖德蘭的身體疾病。 15. 膽怯的告解神父。 16. 對過去的罪感到焦慮。 17. 恐懼和乾旱。 18. 魔鬼引起的顧慮和恐懼。 19.靈魂的困惑。 20. 只有天主才能解除這些麻煩。 21.人性的弱點。 22. 塵世的安慰是無濟於事的。 23.此時祈禱並不能帶來安慰。 24. 這些內部試驗的補救措施。 25. 魔鬼的試煉。 26.其他痛苦。 27.準備進入第七府。

1. 1. 在聖靈的幫助下，我現在要談的是第六重居所，在那裡，靈魂因對其配偶的愛而受傷，比以往任何時候都更加孤獨地嘆息，在其國家義務允許的範圍內，遠離一切可能打擾它的事物。它所享受到的他的景像是如此深深地印在精神上，以至於它唯一的願望就是再次見到他。我已經說過，²⁰⁹即使透過想像，在這個祈禱中也看不到任何可以稱為視力的東西。我之所以將其稱為“視覺”，是因為我使用了比較。

2. 2. 現在，靈魂已決定除了我們的主以外不再接受其他新郎，但他不顧人們對迅速結婚的渴望，希望這些渴望變得更加強烈，並且這種遠勝於所有其他好處的美好事物應該以自己的一些代價來購買。雖然為了獲得如此巨大的收穫，我們必須忍受的一切只是一個可憐的代價，但我向你們保證，女兒們，我們需要這種對我們即將發生的事情的承諾來激勵我們有勇氣承擔我們的十字架。

3. 3.我的天主啊，要經歷多少內在和外在的磨難才能進入第七府！有時，在思考這一點時，我擔心，如果事先知道它們，人類的軟弱幾乎無法承受與它們相遇的想法或決心，無論收穫看起來有多大。然而，如果靈魂已經到達第七重居所，它就無所畏懼：大膽地為天主承受一切，²¹⁰它從與天主幾乎不間斷的結合中積聚力量。

4. 4. 我認為最好告訴你一些在這個州肯定會發生的審判。也許並非所有的靈魂都會受到這樣的引導，但我認為，那些有時享受如此真正的天堂恩惠的人不可能完全擺脫某種塵世的煩惱。因此，雖然一開始我並不想談論這個話題，但後來我想，如果一個人知道天主賜予這種恩惠的人通常會發生什麼，那麼對於處於這種情況的靈魂來說，可能會得到很大的安慰，因為當時他們似乎真的失去了一切。

5. 5. 我不會以適當的順序列舉這些考驗，但會按照我的記憶，從最不嚴重的開始，描述它們。這是與她生活在一起的人對這樣一個人的強烈抗議，甚至是那些與她無關但認為在她生命中的某個時候見過她的人的抗議。他們說她想被冒充為聖人，她在虔誠上走極端，欺騙世界，貶低那些比她更好的基督徒，但又不做這樣的炫耀。但請注意，她除了努力更完美地履行國家職責之外什麼也沒做。她認為是朋友的人拋棄了她，說出了最痛苦的言論。他們牢記在心的是，她的靈魂已經被毀了——她顯然是被迷惑了——這一切都是魔鬼的傑作——她將和某某一樣因他而迷失了命運，她正在把美德引入歧途。他們大聲疾呼，說她在欺騙她的懺悔神父，並告訴他們這一點，引用其他人以同樣的方式走向毀滅的例子，並發表一千種類似的嘲笑言論。 ²¹¹ 6. 我知道有人擔心她找不到任何牧師來聽她的懺悔，事情就發展到了這樣的地步。但由於這是一個很長的故事，我現在不會停下來講述它。最糟糕的是，這些麻煩並沒有消失，而是伴隨了她一生，因為一個人警告另一個人不要與她的同類有任何關係。另一方面，你會說，有些人對她有利。噢，我的女兒們，與許多恨她的人相比，很少有人對她有好感！

7. 7. 除此之外，讚美比責備更讓這樣的靈魂痛苦，因為它清楚地認識到，它所擁有的任何善行都是天主的恩賜，絕不是它自己的，因為不久前它的美德還很薄弱，還犯下了嚴重的罪孽。 ²¹²因此，讚美會導致它難以忍受的痛苦，至少在開始時是這樣，儘管後來，由於多種原因，靈魂對其中任何一個都比較漠不關心。

8. 8. 首先，經驗告訴人們，人們會說別人的好話，也願意說別人的壞話，因此，人們對其中一方的重視並不比另一方更重要。其次，我們的主賜給了它更大的亮光，它認識到其中沒有什麼好東西是它自己的，而是他的恩賜，並且忘記了自我，讚美天主的恩典，彷彿這些恩典是在第三者身上找到的。

9. 9. 第三個原因是，這樣的人認識到別人從見證天主所賜予的恩典中所獲得的利益，認為天主讓他們發現自己不存在的美德是為了他們的利益。 10. 第四，那些尋求神的榮耀和榮耀勝過尋求自己的榮耀和榮耀的靈魂，可以擺脫這樣的誘惑（這通常困擾著初學者），即認為人類的讚美會給他們帶來他們所看到的對他人的傷害。這些靈魂也不太關心人們的蔑視，只要透過他們的方式，任何人至少讚美天主一次——無論以後發生什麼。

11. 11. 這些和其他原因在某種程度上減輕了以前人類讚美所帶來的巨大痛苦，然而，除非靈魂變得完全不顧人們的舌頭，否則仍然會引起一些不適。它對自己受到世人不值得的尊重比受到任何誹謗更感到悲痛。當它最終對讚揚變得幾乎漠不關心時，它就更不關心譴責了，甚至它會感到高興，聽起來就像和諧的音樂。

12. 12. 這是完全正確的；經歷的考驗使靈魂變得更加堅強，而不是沮喪，經驗教會了它從中獲得的巨大優勢。它不認為人們迫害它而冒犯了天主，而是天主允許他們這樣做是為了獲得更大的利益。 ²¹³這種信念如此強烈，以至於這樣的人對這些人懷有特殊的感情，認為他們比那些說她好話的人更真誠的朋友和更大的恩人。 ²¹⁴

13. 13. 我們的主現在通常會帶來嚴重的身體虛弱。這是一個更沉重的十字架，尤其是當感到劇烈疼痛時：如果這是暴力，我認為這是地球上最艱難的考驗。我說的是外在的考驗；但是，最嚴重的肉體痛苦也會進入我們存在的內部，影響精神和身體，因此，在痛苦中的靈魂不知道該怎麼辦，寧願立即殉難，也不願承受這樣的痛苦。然而，這些突發事件不會持續太久，因為天主從來不會給我們帶來超出我們承受能力的事情，並且總是首先給我們耐心。

14. 14. 現在談談在這種狀態下人們通常會遇到的其他考驗和多種疾病。我認識一個人，從四十年前開始，²¹⁵我們的主開始賜予她所描述的恩惠，就無法用任何事實來證實她一天沒有受到痛苦和其他種類的痛苦：我說的是除了沉重的十字架之外，她還身體虛弱。 ²¹⁶確實，她過著邪惡的生活，因此，與她應得的地獄相比，這些麻煩顯得很輕。 ²¹⁷我們的主透過其他方式引導那些較少冒犯祂的人，但我應該始終選擇受苦的方式，即使只是為了效仿我們的主耶穌基督；但事實上，它在許多其他方面使我們受益。然而，哦！相較之下，其餘的事情似乎微不足道，我能否講述在這裡遇到的內心折磨，但它們是無法形容的。

15. 15. 讓我們先談談與一位膽怯且缺乏經驗的告解神父會面的考驗，他認為沒有什麼是安全的。他害怕並懷疑除了平凡之外的一切，尤其是在他阻止任何不完美的靈魂中，因為他認為天主賜予如此恩惠的人一定是天使，而當我們生活在我們的身體裡時這是不可能的。 ²¹⁸他立刻將一切歸於魔鬼或憂鬱。對於後者，我並不感到驚訝；世界上有太多這樣的事，而邪惡的人以這種方式造成如此大的傷害，以至於懺悔者有最充分的理由對此感到焦慮和警惕。

16. 16. 可憐的靈魂，被同樣的恐懼所困擾，尋求懺悔神父作為法官，並對他的譴責感到一種折磨和沮喪，這種譴責只能由那些自己經歷過的人才能體會到。 ²¹⁹這些靈魂面臨的嚴峻考驗之一，特別是如果他們過著邪惡的生活，就是他們相信天主允許他們在對自己的罪孽的懲罰中受到欺騙。當他們實際接受這些恩典時，他們感到安全，不能不認為這些恩惠是來自天主的靈。但這種狀態持續的時間很短，而對他們的罪行的記憶卻一直在他們面前，因此，當他們發現自己有任何過錯時，這是肯定會發生的，這些折磨人的想法就會回來。 ²²⁰

17. 17.當告解神父安慰它時，靈魂會暫時平靜下來，儘管後來它又回到了以前的憂慮，但當他加劇它的恐懼時，它們變得幾乎難以忍受。尤其是當靈性枯竭，心靈感覺好像從來沒有想到過神，也永遠無法想到神時，情況尤其如此。當人們談到他時，他們似乎在談論某個很久以前就聽說過的人。

18. 18. 如果沒有進一步的痛苦，我們無法讓我們的告解神父理解案件並欺騙他們。 ²²¹雖然這樣的人可能會非常小心地檢查自己的良心，並且可能知道她甚至嚮導演透露了自己的第一個想法，但這對她沒有幫助。她的理解太模糊，無法辨別真相，除了相信魔鬼向她暗示的謊言之外，她相信現在佔據上風的想像擺在她的腦海中的一切，毫無疑問，我們的主允許魔鬼誘惑她。邪靈甚至試圖讓她認為天主已經拒絕了她。許多考驗攻擊著這個靈魂，造成內心的痛苦，如此痛苦和難以忍受，以至於我無法將其與除了地獄中迷失者所遭受的痛苦相比，因為在這場麻煩的風暴中找不到任何安慰。 ²²²

19. 19. 如果靈魂向告解神父尋求安慰，所有的惡魔似乎都會幫助他更折磨它。一位告解神父以這種方式對待一個受苦的人，他認為她的處境一定非常危險，因為有這麼多的事情困擾著她；因此，當她從磨難中恢復過來後，他要求她每當這些磨難再次發生時就告訴他：然而，他發現這讓事情變得比以往更糟。她完全失去了對自己的控制：雖然她學會了閱讀，但她無法理解一本用粗俗語言寫的書，就像她不懂字母一樣，因為她的思想無法行動。 ²²³

20. 20.總而言之，在這樣的暴風雨中，除了等待天主的憐憫之外，沒有其他的補救辦法，天主突然通過一些不經意的一句話或不可預見的情況，突然驅散了所有這些悲傷；然後，所有煩惱的烏雲都會消失，心靈充滿光明，比以前更加快樂。 ²²⁴它讚美我們的主天主，就像從一場危險的戰鬥中取得勝利的人一樣，因為是他贏得了勝利。靈魂完全意識到征服不是自己的，因為所有自衛武器似乎都在敵人手中。因此，它認識到自己的弱點，以及如果天主拋棄人，人能幫助自己的程度是多麼小。

21. 21. 這個真理現在不需要證明，因為過去的經驗已經告訴靈魂它是完全無能的。它認識到人性的虛無以及我們是多麼悲慘的生物。儘管處於一種恩典狀態，它還沒有墮落——因為儘管有這些折磨，它並沒有冒犯天主，也不會為任何塵世的事情這樣做²²⁵——但這種恩典是如此隱藏，以至於受苦者相信，無論是現在還是過去，她都沒有擁有過對愛的最微弱的火花。天主。 ²²⁶如果她在任何時候做過善事，或者陛下曾經賜予她任何恩惠，那似乎都只是一個夢想或幻想，而她的罪孽卻清晰地擺在她面前。

22. 22.耶穌啊！看到一個靈魂被如此遺棄是多麼悲傷，正如我所說，任何塵世的安慰都無濟於事！姊妹們，不要想像，如果你們曾經陷入這樣的境地，富裕而獨立的人在這些麻煩中比你們擁有更多的資源。不，不！提供這樣的安慰就像把世界上所有的歡樂都放在被判死刑的人面前：這不但不會減輕他們的痛苦，反而會增加他們的痛苦。對我所說的靈魂也是如此：他們的安慰必須來自上天──世上沒有任何東西可以幫助他們。這位偉大的天主希望我們承認祂的主權和我們自己的苦難——這對那些想要更進一步的人來說是很重要的一點。

23. 23. 如果這樣的考驗持續很多天，可憐的靈魂能做什麼呢？祈禱對於安慰心靈來說沒有什麼區別，任何安慰都無法進入心靈，頭腦甚至無法理解口頭祈禱詞句的含義：在這種時候，精神祈禱是不可能的，因為能力無法勝任。孤獨會傷害靈魂，而社交或談話卻是一種新的折磨。儘管患者極力掩飾，但她實在太疲倦了，對周圍的一切感到不舒服，所以她不得不表現出自己的狀況。

24. 24.靈魂怎麼可能知道自己有什麼毛病呢？其痛苦是難以形容的；它充滿了無名的痛苦和精神上的痛苦。對這些十字架的最佳補救措施（我不是指從它們中獲得解脫，因為我不知道有什麼能做到這一點，而是讓人能夠承受它們）是進行外在的慈善工作並相信天主的憐憫，這永遠不會讓那些希望他的人失望。 ²²⁷願他永遠蒙福！阿門

25. 25. 魔鬼也會帶來外在的考驗，這是更不尋常的，無需提及。它們的痛苦要小得多，因為無論惡魔做什麼，我相信它們永遠不會像以前那樣成功地麻痺人的能力或擾亂靈魂。事實上，理性能夠看出邪靈所造成的傷害不會超過天主所允許的範圍。雖然心靈並沒有失去它的力量，但所有的痛苦相對而言都是微不足道的。

26. 26. 在描述我們的主在這裡所賜予的各種祈禱和恩惠時，我將討論在這座居所中遇到的其他內部痛苦。雖然後面的一些痛苦更難以忍受，從它們對身體的影響來看，但它們不值得稱為十字架，我們也沒有權利這樣稱呼它們。事實上，它們是來自天主的偉大恩典，因為靈魂在痛苦中認識到，意識到自己距離配得這樣的恩典還有多遠。

27. 27. 靈魂在第七重居所入口處感受到的這種嚴重折磨還伴隨著許多其他痛苦，我將提到其中一些：不可能全部談論它們，我也無法描繪它們，因為它們來自另一個比其他痛苦更高的來源。如果我在寫低等的試驗方面取得瞭如此糟糕的成績，那麼我就更不可能寫其他的試驗了。願天主透過祂兒子的功德在一切事情上幫助我！阿門。

THIS CHAPTER SHOWS HOW, WHEN GOD BESTOWS GREATER FAVOURS ON THE SOUL, IT SUFFERS MORE SEVERE AFFLICTIONS. SOME OF THE LATTER ARE DESCRIBED AND DIRECTIONS HOW TO BEAR THEM GIVEN TO THE DWELLERS IN THIS MANSION. THIS CHAPTER IS USEFUL FOR THOSE SUFFERING INTERIOR TRIALS.

1. Love kindled by divine favours. 2. Our Lord excites the soul’s longings. 3. Courage needed to reach the last mansions. 4. Trials accompanying divine favours. 5. Outcry raised against souls striving for perfection. 6. St. Teresa’s personal experience of this. 7. Praise distasteful to an enlightened soul. 8. This changes to indifference. 9. Humility of such souls. 10. Their zeal for God’s glory. 11. Perfect and final indifference to praise or blame. 12. Love of enemies. 13. Bodily sufferings. 14. St. Teresa’s physical ills. 15. A timorous confessor. 16. Anxiety on account of past sins. 17. Fears and aridity. 18. Scruples and fears raised by the devil. 19. Bewilderment of the soul. 20. God alone relieves these troubles. 21. Human weakness. 22. Earthly consolations are of no avail. 23. Prayer gives no comfort at such a time. 24. Remedies for these interior trials. 25. Trials caused by the devil. 26. Other afflictions. 27. Preparatory to entering the seventh mansions.

1.

1. BY the aid of the Holy Ghost I am now about to treat of the sixth mansions, where the soul, wounded with love for its Spouse, sighs more than ever for solitude, withdrawing as far as the duties of its state permit from all that can interrupt it, The sight it has enjoyed of Him is so deeply imprinted on the spirit that its only desire is to behold Him again. I have already said that,²⁰⁹ even by the imagination, nothing is seen in this prayer that can be called sight. I speak of it as ‘sight’ because of the comparison I used.

2.

2. The soul is now determined to take no other Bridegroom than our Lord, but He disregards its desires for its speedy espousals, wishing that these longings should become still more vehement and that this good, which far excels all other benefits, should be purchased at some cost to itself. And although for so great a gain all that we must endure is but a poor price to pay, I assure you, daughters, that this pledge of what is in store for us is needed to inspire us with courage to bear our crosses.

3.

3. O My God, how many troubles both interior and exterior must one suffer before entering the seventh mansions! Sometimes, while pondering over this I fear that, were they known beforehand, human infirmity could scarcely bear the thought nor resolve to encounter them, however great might appear the gain. If, however, the soul has already reached the seventh mansions, it fears nothing: boldly undertaking to suffer all things for God,²¹⁰ it gathers strength from its almost uninterrupted union with Him.

4.

4. I think it would be well to tell you of some of the trials certain to occur in this state. Possibly all souls may not be led in this way, but I think that those who sometimes enjoy such truly heavenly favours cannot be altogether free from some sort of earthly troubles. Therefore, although at first I did not intend to speak on this subject, yet afterwards I thought that it might greatly comfort a soul in this condition if it knew what usually happens to those on whom God bestows graces of this kind, for at the time they really seem to have lost everything.

5.

5. I shall not enumerate these trials in their proper order, but will describe them as they come to my memory, beginning with the least severe. This is an outcry raised against such a person by those amongst whom she lives, and even from others she has nothing to do with but who fancy that at some time in her life they recollect having seen her. They say she wants to pass for a saint, that she goes to extremes in piety to deceive the world and to depreciate people who are better Christians than herself without making such a parade of it. But notice that she does nothing except endeavour to carry out the duties of her state more perfectly. Persons she thought were her friends desert her, making the most bitter remarks of all. They take it much to heart that her soul is ruined—she is manifestly deluded—it is all the devil’s work—she will share the fate of so-and-so who was lost through him, and she is leading virtue astray. They cry out that she is deceiving her confessors, and tell them so, citing examples of others who came to ruin in the same way and make a thousand scoffing remarks of the same sort.²¹¹ 6. I know some one who feared she would be unable to find any priest who would hear her confession, to such a pass did things come; but as it is a long story, I will not stop to tell it now. The worst of it is, these troubles do not blow over but last all her life, for one person warns the other to have nothing to do with people of her kind. You will say that, on the other hand, some speak in her favour. O my daughters, how few think well of her in comparison with the many who hate her!

7.

7. Besides this, praise pains such a soul more than blame because it recognizes clearly that any good it possesses is the gift of God and in no wise its own, seeing that but a short time ago it was weak in virtue and involved in grave sins.²¹² Therefore commendation causes it intolerable suffering, at least at first, although later on, for many reasons, the soul is comparatively indifferent to either.

8.

8. The first is that experience has shown the mind that men are as ready to speak well as ill of others, so it attaches no more importance to the one than to the other. Secondly, our Lord having granted it greater light, it perceives that no good thing in it is its own but is His gift, and becomes oblivious of self, praising God for His graces as if they were found in a third person.

9.

9. The third reason is that, realizing the benefit reaped by others from witnessing graces given it by God, such a one thinks that it is for their profit He causes them to discover in her virtues that do not exist. 10. Fourthly, souls seeking God’s honour and glory more than their own are cured of the temptation (which usually besets beginners) of thinking that human praise will cause them the injury they have seen it do to others. Nor do these souls care much for men’s contempt if only, by their means, any one should praise God at least once—come what may afterwards.

11.

11. These and other reasons to a certain extent allay the great distress formerly given by human praise which, however, still causes some discomfort unless the soul has become utterly regardless of men’s tongues. It is infinitely more grieved at being undeservedly esteemed by the world than by any calumny; and when at last it becomes almost indifferent to praise, it cares still less for censure, which even pleases it and sounds like harmonious music to the ears.

12.

12. This is perfectly true; the soul is rather strengthened than depressed by its trials, experience having taught it the great advantages derived from them. It does not think men offend God by persecuting it, but that He permits them to do so for its greater gain.²¹³ So strong is this belief that such a person bears a special affection for these people, holding them as truer friends and greater benefactors than those who speak well of her.²¹⁴

13.

13. Our Lord now usually sends severe bodily infirmity. This is a far heavier cross, especially if acute pain is felt: if this is violent, I think it is the hardest of earthly trials. I speak of exterior trials; but corporal pains of the worst kind enter the interior of our being also, affecting both spirit and body, so that the soul in its anguish knows not what to do with itself and would far rather meet death at once by some quick martyrdom than suffer thus. However, these paroxysms do not last long, for God never sends us more than we can bear and always gives us patience first.

14.

14. Now to speak of other trials and illnesses of many kinds which generally occur to people in this state. I knew some one who, from the time when, forty years ago,²¹⁵ our Lord began to bestow on her the favour described, could not affirm with any truth that she had been a single day without pain and other kinds of suffering: I am speaking of physical infirmities besides heavy crosses sent her.²¹⁶ True, she had led a wicked life and therefore held these troubles very light in comparison with the hell she had deserved.²¹⁷ Our Lord leads those who have offended Him less by some other way, but I should always choose the way of suffering, if only for the sake of imitating our Lord Jesus Christ; though, in fact, it profits us in many other manners. Yet, oh! the rest would seem trifling in comparison could I relate the interior torments met with here, but they are impossible to describe.

15.

15. Let us first speak of the trial of meeting with so timorous and inexperienced a confessor that nothing seems safe to him; he dreads and suspects everything but the commonplace, especially in a soul in which he deters any imperfection, for he thinks people on whom God bestows such favours must be angels, which is impossible while we live in our bodies.²¹⁸ He at once ascribes everything to the devil or melancholy. As to the latter, I am not surprised; there is so much of it in the world and the evil one works such harm in this way that confessors have the strongest reasons for anxiety and watchfulness about it.

16.

16. The poor soul, beset by the same fears, seeks its confessor as judge, and feels a torture and dismay at his condemnation that can only be realized by those who have experienced it themselves.²¹⁹ For one of the severe trials of these souls, especially if they have lived wicked lives, is their belief that God permits them to be deceived in punishment for their sins. While actually receiving these graces they feel secure and cannot but suppose that these favours proceed from the Spirit of God; but this state lasts a very short time, while the remembrance of their misdeeds is ever before them, so that when, as is sure to happen, they discover any faults in themselves, these torturing thoughts return.²²⁰

17.

17. The soul is quieted for a time when the confessor reassures it although it returns later on to its former apprehensions, but when he augments its fears they become almost unbearable. Especially is this the case when such spiritual dryness ensues that the mind feels as if it never had thought of God nor ever will be able to do so. When men speak of Him, they seem to be talking of some person heard of long ago.

18.

18. All this is nothing without the further pain of thinking we cannot make our confessors understand the case and are deceiving them.²²¹ Although such a person may examine her conscience with the greatest care, and may know that she reveals even the first movement of her mind to her director, it does not help her. Her understanding being too obscure to discern the truth, she believes all that the imagination, which now has the upper hand, puts before her mind, besides crediting the falsehoods suggested to her by the devil, whom doubtless our Lord gives leave to tempt her. The evil spirit even tries to make her think God has rejected her. Many are the trials which assault this soul, causing an internal anguish so painful and so intolerable that I can compare it to nothing save that suffered by the lost in hell, for no comfort can be found in this tempest of trouble.²²²

19.

19. If the soul seeks for consolation from its confessor, all the demons appear to help him to torment it more. A confessor who dealt with a person suffering in this manner thought that her state must be very dangerous as so many things were troubling her; therefore, after she had recovered from her trials, he bade her tell him whenever they recurred: however, he found this made matters worse than ever. She lost all control over herself: although she had learnt to read, yet she could no more understand a book in the vulgar tongue than if she had not known the alphabet, for her mind was incapable of acting.²²³

20.

20. In short, there is no other remedy in such a tempest except to wait for the mercy of God Who, unexpectedly, by some casual word or unforeseen circumstance, suddenly dispels all these sorrows; then every cloud of trouble disappears and the mind is left full of light and far happier than before.²²⁴ It praises our Lord God like one who has come out victorious from a dangerous battle, for it was He Who won the victory. The soul is fully conscious that the conquest was not its own as all weapons of self-defence appeared to be in the enemies’ hands. Thus it realizes its weakness and how little man can help himself if God forsake him.

21.

21. This truth now needs no demonstration, for past experience has taught the soul its utter incapacity; it realizes the nothingness of human nature and what miserable creatures we are. Although in a state of grace from which it has not fallen—for, in spite of these torments, it has not offended God, nor would it do so for any earthly thing²²⁵ —yet so hidden is this grace, that the sufferer believes that neither now, nor in the past, has she ever possessed the faintest spark of love for God.²²⁶ If at any time she has done good, or if His Majesty ever bestowed any favours on her, they seem to have been but a dream or a fancy, while her sins stand clearly before her.

22.

22. O Jesus! how sad it is to see a soul thus forsaken, and how little, as I said, can any earthly comfort avail! Do not imagine, sisters, if you are ever brought to such a state, that rich and independent people have more resources than yourselves in these troubles. No, no! to offer such consolations would be like setting all the joys of the world before people condemned to death: far from mitigating, it would increase their torture. So with the souls I spoke of: their comfort must come from above—nothing earthly can help them. This great God wishes us to acknowledge His sovereignty and our own misery—an important point for those who are to advance still farther.

23.

23. What can the poor soul do if such a trial lasts for many days? Prayer makes no difference as far as comforting the heart, which no consolation can enter, nor can the mind even grasp the meaning of the words of vocal prayer: mental prayer is out of the question at such a time, since the faculties are unequal to it. Solitude harms the soul, yet society or conversation is a fresh torment. Strive as the sufferer may to hide it, she is so wearied and out of sorts with all around that she cannot but manifest her condition.

24.

24. How can the soul possibly tell what ails it? Its pains are indescribable; it is wrung with nameless anguish and spiritual suffering. The best remedy for these crosses (I do not mean for gaining deliverance from them, for I know of nothing that will do that, but for enabling one to bear them) is to perform external works of charity and to trust in the mercy of God, which never fails those who hope in Him.²²⁷ May He be for ever blessed! Amen

25.

25. The devils also bring about exterior trials which being more unusual need not be mentioned. They are far less painful, for whatever the demons may do, I believe they never succeed in paralysing the faculties or disturbing the soul in the former manner. In fact, the reason is able to discern that the evil spirits can do no more harm than God permits; and while the mind has not lost its powers, all sufferings are comparatively insignificant.

26.

26. I shall treat of other internal afflictions met with in this mansion when describing the different kinds of prayer and favours bestowed here by our Lord. Although some of these latter pains are harder to endure, as appears by their bodily effects, yet they do not deserve the name of crosses, nor have we the right to call them so. Indeed, they are great graces from God as the soul recognizes amidst its pangs, realizing how far it is from meriting such graces.

27.

27. This severe torture felt by souls just at the entrance of the seventh mansion is accompanied by many other sufferings, some of which I will mention: to speak of them all would be impossible, nor could I portray them because they come from another and far higher source than the rest. If I have succeeded so ill in writing of trials of a lower kind, much less could I treat of the others. May God assist me in all things, through the merits of His Son! Amen.