第六章

描述了一種效果，證明上一章所說的祈禱是真實的，沒有欺騙，是我們的主賜予靈魂的另一種恩惠，使其熱烈地讚美他。

1.靈魂渴望死亡。 2. 靈魂不由自主地渴望這些恩惠。 3. 聖女小德蘭為自己無法事奉天主而哀嘆。 3. 狂喜所產生的熱情。 5. 過度渴望見到天主應該受到抑制。 6. 它們危害健康。 7. 眼淚常常來自身體原因。 8. 聖女德蘭自己的經歷。 9. 神要求的是行為，而不是眼淚。 10. 完全信賴天主。 11.靈魂的禧年。 12.無法掩飾這種喜悅。 13. 世界對這個禧年的判斷。 14. 聖若瑟修道院的修女們常有這種感覺。 15. 聖人對這個禧年的喜悅。

1. 1. 這些崇高的恩惠讓靈魂如此渴望充分享受賜予這些恩惠的天主，以致生命變成一種痛苦卻又美味的折磨，而人們卻熱切地渴望死亡。這樣的人常常流著淚懇求天主帶她離開這個她所看到的一切都讓她感到厭倦的流放之地。 ³⁰⁶孤獨一時可以帶來很大的緩解，但很快她的悲傷又回來了，但她又無法忍受沒有它。簡而言之，這隻可憐的小蝴蝶找不到持久的休息。她的愛如此溫柔，只要受到最輕微的挑釁，她的愛就會燃燒起來，靈魂也會飛翔。因此，在這棟居所中，狂喜的情況經常發生，甚至在公共場合也無法抗拒。迫害和毀謗隨之而來；³⁰⁷無論她如何嘗試，她都無法擺脫這麼多人，特別是她的告解神父向她暗示的恐懼。

2. 2. 雖然一方面，她對自己的靈魂充滿信心，尤其是與神獨處時，但另一方面，她又深感憂慮，唯恐自己被魔鬼欺騙，從而得罪她深愛的神。她不在乎責備，除非她的告解神父發現她的錯誤，好像她可以幫助發生的事情。她要求每個人為她祈禱³⁰⁸，因為她被告知要這樣做，並懇求國王陛下以其他方式指導她，而不是用這種充滿危險的方式。然而，這些恩惠留下的好處是如此之大，以至於她不能不看到它們引導她走上天堂之路，³⁰⁹她在天主的律法中讀到、聽到和學到了天堂之路。無論她如何努力，她都無法抗拒接受這些恩典的渴望，她把自己交在天主的手中。然而，她感到悲傷的是，她發現自己被迫祈求這些恩惠，這似乎是對她告解神父的不服從，因為她相信，服從和避免冒犯天主，是她免受欺騙的保障。 因此，她覺得自己寧願被切成碎片，也不願故意犯下小罪，但看到自己無法避免無意中陷入一大群，她感到非常悲痛。天主賦予這些人如此強烈的願望，既不會在小事上惹惱天主，也不會犯任何可以避免的缺陷，以至於如果沒有其他原因，他們會試圖避開社會，並且非常羨慕那些生活在沙漠中的人。 ³¹⁰另一方面，他們尋求生活在人群中，希望能夠幫助一個靈魂來讚美天主³¹¹ 就女性而言，她為自己的性別所帶來的障礙感到悲傷[[fnref:312:x-vii-p4-5]，誰是天主的天主之道地宣告天主的人是天主的人和天主的人。 ³¹³

3. 3.哦，可憐的小蝴蝶！被如此多的枷鎖束縛，阻止你飛向你想去的地方！我的天主啊，請憐憫她，並安排她的道路，以便她能夠實現她對你的榮耀和榮耀的一些願望！不要考虑她功绩的贫乏，也不要考虑她本性的卑鄙，主啊，您有能力迫使浩瀚的海洋退却，并迫使宽阔的约旦河退缩，以便以色列的子孙可以通过！ ³¹⁴然而，不要寬恕她，因為在您的力量的幫助下，她可以忍受許多考驗。她決心這麼做──她願意承受這些痛苦。主啊，請伸出你的手臂來幫助她，免得她在瑣事上浪費生命！讓你的偉大顯現你的創造物身上，儘管她是女性般的、柔弱的，以便人們看到她身上的優點不是她自己的，因此可以讚美你！讓她付出一切代價，儘管她願意付出代價，因為她渴望失去一千條生命來帶領一個靈魂讚美你，但要更好一點。如果她能獻出那麼多的生命，她會認為這些生命都花在了這樣的事業上，因為她知道，最確定的事實是，她不值得背負最輕的十字架，更不用說為你而死了。

4. 4. 姊妹們，我不知道我為什麼這麼說，也不知道是什麼讓我這樣做；事實上我從來沒有想過。你必須知道，這些效果必然是從這種恍惚或狂喜中產生的：它們不是短暫的，而是永久的慾望；它們不是短暫的，而是永恆的。當有機會採取行動時，它們就會被證明是真誠的。當靈魂有時在最瑣碎的事情上感到膽怯，不敢為天主承擔任何工作時，我怎麼能說它們是永久的呢？

5. 5. 我相信這是因為我們的主為了人類更大的利益，讓靈魂屈服於其自然的弱點，這種弱點立即使靈魂徹底相信，它所擁有的任何力量都來自他的陛下，以摧毀它的自愛，使它更加了解天主的仁慈和偉大，而天主卻在如此卑鄙的人身上展示了天主的偉大仁慈。然而，靈魂通常處於前一種狀態。姊妹們要注意一件事：這些仰望我們的主的熱切願望有時是如此令人痛苦，以至於需要阻止而不是鼓勵——也就是說，如果可行的話，因為在我稍後將談到的另一種祈禱中，這是不可能的，正如你將看到的那樣。

6. 6. 在我所說的狀態下，這些渴望有時會被抑制，因為可以自由地遵守天主的旨意，並且可以引用聖馬丁的話；³¹⁵如果這些慾望變得非常壓抑，思想可能會轉向其他事情。由於這種渴望通常出現在高度完美的人身上，魔鬼可能會激發他們，讓我們認為自己是他們中的一員——無論如何，保持謹慎是有好處的。就我而言，我不相信他能為靈魂帶來這種痛苦所帶來的平靜與安寧，但會因為我們因任何世俗問題而感到痛苦時所感到的不安而擾亂靈魂。一個沒有經歷過這兩種悲傷的人無法理解其中的區別，但認為這種悲傷是一件好事，就會盡可能地激發它，這會極大地損害健康，因為這些渴望是持續不斷的，或者至少是非常頻繁的。

7. 7. 你也必須注意到，身體的虛弱可能會造成這樣的痛苦，尤其是那些個性敏感的人，他們會為每一件瑣事而哭泣。 ³¹⁶無數次，當他們沒有做這樣的事情時，他們想像自己正在為天主哀悼。如果在相當長的時間內，每當這樣的人聽到最少的提及天主或想到他時，就會發生這些無法控制的哭泣，³¹⁷原因可能是內心積聚的幽默感，這與這種眼淚的關係比對天主的愛的關係更大。這些人似乎永遠不會停止哭泣：相信眼淚是有益的，他們不會試圖阻止眼淚，也不會分散自己的注意力，而是盡可能地鼓勵眼淚。魔鬼抓住這個機會削弱修女的力量，使她們無法祈禱或遵守她們的規則。

8. 8. 我想你一定對此感到困惑，想問我要你做什麼，因為我看到一切都有危險。如果我害怕眼淚這樣美好的事物被迷惑，也許我自己被迷惑了，也許我確實被迷惑了！但請相信我，我不會在沒有在其他人身上親眼目睹的情況下說出這句話，儘管在我自己的情況下，因為我身上沒有任何溫柔，我的心是如此堅硬，常常讓我悲傷。 ³¹⁸然而，當火焰在內心猛烈燃燒時，儘管我的心可能是石頭，但它會像蒸餾器一樣蒸餾。 ³¹⁹很容易知道眼淚何時來自這個來源，因為它們舒緩而溫和，而不是暴風雨般的，而且很少造成任何傷害。當這種妄想存在時，對謙卑的人來說，它的好處是只傷害身體而不傷害靈魂。但如果一個人不謙虛，最好時時保持警覺。

9. 9. 讓我們不要幻想，如果我們哭了很多次，我們就已經做了所有需要做的事——相反，我們必須努力工作並實踐美德：這是最重要的——當天主派來眼淚時，讓眼淚流下來，而不是試圖強迫自己流淚。然後，如果我們不太注意它們，它們就會讓我們靈魂枯乾的土壤得到充分的澆灌，使其結出豐碩的果實。因為這是從天而降的水。 ³²⁰無論我們如何努力挖掘才能到達它，我們永遠不會得到這樣的水；事實上，我們可能經常工作和尋找，直到筋疲力盡，卻找不到像水池一樣多的東西，更不用說找到一口泉水井了！

10. 10. 因此，姊妹們，我認為我們最好把自己放在神的面前，默想祂的憐憫和偉大，以及我們自己的卑鄙，讓祂給我們祂想要的，無論是水或乾旱，因為祂最知道什麼對我們有好處；這樣我們就享有平安，魔鬼就沒有機會欺騙我們。

11. 11. 在這些既痛苦又愉快的恩惠中，我們的主有時會在靈魂中引起某種歡呼³²¹和一種奇怪而神秘的祈禱。如果祂賜給你這恩典，請為此熱烈地讚美祂；我描述它是為了讓你知道它是真實的。我相信靈魂的能力與天主緊密結合，但天主讓他們自由地與感官一起享受幸福，儘管他們不知道自己在享受什麼，也不知道如何享受。這聽起來可能是無稽之談，但它確實發生了。它的禧年如此過度，以至於靈魂不會獨自享受它，而是向周圍的人談論它，以便他們可以幫助它讚美天主，這是它的一個願望。 ³²²

12. 12. 噢，如果可能的話，這個人會發出怎樣的歡呼聲，做出怎樣的示範，讓所有人都知道她的幸福！她似乎又找到了自己，並希望像浪子的父親一樣，邀請她所有的朋友與她一起盛宴³²³並看到她的靈魂在其應有的位置，因為（至少暫時）她不能懷疑它的安全。我相信她是對的，因為魔鬼不可能將喜樂與平安注入她生命的中心，使她的全部快樂在於敦促別人讚美天主。要保持沉默並掩飾這種衝動的幸福需要付出痛苦的努力。聖方濟各一定經歷過這種情況，當強盜們遇到他大聲哭泣地衝過田野時，他在回答他們的問題時告訴他們，他是「偉大國王的使者」。 ³²⁴其他聖人也有同樣的感受，他們退隱到沙漠中，以便像聖方濟各一樣，宣揚對天主的讚美。

21413. 13. 我認識 Alcantara 的 Fray Peter，他曾經這樣做過。我相信他是一位聖人，因為他所過的生活，但人們在聽到他的聲音時常常認為他是個傻瓜。 ³²⁵哦，快樂的愚蠢，姊妹們！但願天主讓我們大家分享它！他向你展示了多麼仁慈的安排，如果他給了你這種恩典，並且被其他人察覺，它寧願對你有利，也不會像在世上那樣招致你的蔑視，在世上，人們很少聽到天主的讚美，難怪他們會以此為恥。

14. 14.哦，世上度過的悲慘時光和悲慘人生！那些幸福地擺脫這些束縛的人是多麼幸福啊！ ³²⁶當我在姊妹們的陪伴下，看到她們內心的喜樂如此之大，以至於彼此競相讚美我們的主將她們安置在這個修道院裡時，我常常感到高興：很明顯，她們的讚美來自她們靈魂的最深處。姊妹們，我希望你們經常這樣做，因為當一個人開始時，她就會煽動其他人效仿她。當你們在一起的時候，你們的舌頭還有什麼比讚美天主更好的呢？天主給了我們這麼多的理由？

15. 15.願陛下經常賜予我們這種最安全、最有益的祈禱；我們無法為自己獲得它，因為它是超自然的。有時它會持續一整天，靈魂就像一個陶醉的人，雖然沒有被剝奪感官；³²⁷也不像一個患有憂鬱症的人，³²⁸其中，雖然理性還沒有完全喪失，但想力不斷地從其中停留在某個主題上的主題。釋放了。對於如此珍貴的禮物，這些都是粗略的比較，但我並沒有想到其他的事情。在這種祈禱狀態下，一個人會因為這個禧年而忘記自我和其他一切，除了讚美天主之外，她既不能思考也不能說出任何事情，這是她的喜樂促使她這樣做的。我的女兒們，讓我們所有人都加入她的行列，因為我們為什麼要希望比她更聰明呢？什麼能讓我們更快樂？願所有生物將他們的讚美與我們的讚美永遠結合在一起。阿門，阿門，阿門！

DESCRIBES AN EFFECT WHICH PROVES THE PRAYER SPOKEN OF IN THE LAST CHAPTER TO BE GENUINE AND NO DECEPTION, TREATS OF ANOTHER FAVOUR OUR LORD BESTOWS ON THE SOUL TO MAKE IT PRAISE HIM FERVENTLY.

1. The soul longs for death. 2. The soul cannot help desiring these favours. 3. St. Teresa bewails her inability to serve God. 3. Fervour resulting from ecstasies. 5. Excessive desires to see God should be restrained. 6. They endanger health. 7. Tears often come from Physical causes. 8. St. Teresa’s own experience. 9. Works, not tears, are asked by God. 10. Confide entirely in God. 11. The jubilee of the soul. 12. Impossibility of concealing this joy. 13. The world’s judgment of this jubilee. 14. Which is often felt by the nuns of St. Joseph’s. 15. The Saint’s delight in this jubilee.

1.

1. THESE sublime favours leave the soul so desirous of fully enjoying Him Who has bestowed them that life becomes a painful though delicious torture, and death is ardently longed for. Such a one often implores God with tears to take her from this exile where everything she sees wearies her.³⁰⁶ Solitude alone brings great alleviation for a time, but soon her grief returns and yet she cannot bear to be without it. In short, this poor little butterfly can find no lasting rest. So tender is her love that at the slightest provocation it flames forth and the soul takes flight. Thus in this mansion raptures occur very frequently, nor can they be resisted even in public. Persecutions and slanders ensue;³⁰⁷ however she may try, she cannot keep free from the fears suggested to her by so many people, especially by her confessors.

2.

2. Although in one way she feels great confidence within her soul, especially when alone with God, yet on the other hand, she is greatly troubled by misgivings lest she is deceived by the devil and so should offend Him Whom she deeply loves. She cares little for blame, except when her confessor finds fault with her as if she could help what happens. She asks every one to pray for her³⁰⁸ since she has been told to do so, and begs His Majesty to direct her by some other way than this which is so full of danger. Nevertheless, so great are the benefits left by these favours that she cannot but see that they lead her on the way to heaven,³⁰⁹ of which she has read and heard and learnt in the law of God. As, strive how she may, she cannot resist desiring to receive these graces, she resigns herself into God’s hands. Yet she is grieved at finding herself forced to wish for these favours which appears to be disobedience to her confessor, for she believes that in obedience, and in avoiding any offence against God, lies her safeguard against deception. Thus she feels she would prefer to be cut in pieces rather than wilfully commit a venial sin, yet is greatly grieved at seeing that she cannot avoid unwittingly falling into a great number. God bestows on such people so intense a desire neither ever to displease Him in however small a matter, nor to commit any avoidable imperfection, that, were there no other reason, they would try to avoid society and they greatly envy those who live in deserts.³¹⁰ On the other hand, they seek to live amidst men in the hopes of helping if but one soul to praise God better.³¹¹ In the case of a woman, she grieves over the impediment offered by her sex³¹² and envies those who are free to proclaim aloud to all Who is this mighty God of hosts.³¹³

3.

3. O poor little butterfly! chained by so many fetters that stop thee from flying where thou wouldst! Have pity on her, O my God, and so dispose her ways that she may be able to accomplish some of her desires for Thy honour and glory! Take no account of the poverty of her merits, nor of the vileness of her nature, Lord, Thou Who hast the power to compel the vast ocean to retire, and didst force the wide river Jordan to draw back so that the Children of Israel might pass through!³¹⁴ Yet spare her not, for aided by Thy strength she can endure many trials. She is resolved to do so—she desires to suffer them. Stretch forth Thine arm, O Lord, to help her lest she waste her life on trifles! Let Thy greatness appear in this Thy creature, womanish and weak as she is, so that men, seeing the good in her is not her own, may praise Theefor it! Let it cost her what it may and as dear as she desires, for she longs to lose a thousand lives to lead one soul to praise Thee but a little better. If as many lives were hers to give, she would count them well spent in such a cause, knowing as a truth most certain that she is unworthy to bear the lightest cross, much less to die for Thee.

4.

4. I cannot tell why I have said this, sisters, nor what made me do so; indeed I never intended it. You must know that these effects are bound to follow from such trances or ecstasies: they are not transient, but permanent desires; when opportunity occurs of acting on them, they prove genuine. How can I say that they are permanent, when at times the soul feels cowardly in the most trivial matters and too timorous to undertake any work for God?

5.

5. I believe it is because our Lord, for its greater good, then leaves the soul to its natural weakness, which at once convinces it so thoroughly that any strength it possessed came from His Majesty as to destroy its self-love, enduing it with a greater knowledge of the mercy and greatness of God which He deigned to show forth in one so vile. However, the soul is usually in the former state. Beware of one thing, sisters; these ardent desires to behold our Lord are sometimes so distressing as to need rather to be checked than to be encouraged—that is, if feasible, for in another kind of prayer of which I shall speak later, it is not possible as you will see.

6.

6. In the state I speak of these longings can sometimes be arrested, for the reason is at liberty to conform to the will of God and can quote the words of St. Martin;³¹⁵ should these desires become very oppressive, the thoughts may be turned to some other matter. As such longings are generally found in persons far advanced in perfection, the devil may excite them in order to make us think we are of their number—in any case it is well to be cautious. For my part, I do not believe he could cause the calm and peace given by this pain to the soul, but would disturb it by such uneasiness as we feel when afflicted concerning any worldly matter. A person inexperienced in both kinds of sorrow cannot understand the difference, but thinking such grief an excellent thing, will excite it as much as possible which greatly injures the health, as these longings are incessant or at least very frequent.

7.

7. You must also notice that bodily weakness may cause such pain, especially with people of sensitive characters who cry over every trifling trouble.³¹⁶ Times without number do they imagine they are mourning for God’s sake when they are doing no such thing. If for a considerable space of time, whenever such a person hears the least mention of God or thinks of Him at all, these fits of uncontrollable weeping occur,³¹⁷ the cause may be an accumulation of humour round the heart, which has a great deal more to do with such tears than has the love of God. Such persons seem as if they would never stop crying: believing that tears are beneficial, they do not try to check them nor to distract their minds from the subject, but encourage them as much as possible. The devil seizes this opportunity of weakening nuns so that they become unable to pray or to keep their Rule.

8.

8. I think you must be puzzling over this and would like to ask what I would have you do, as I see danger in everything. If I am afraid of delusions in so good a thing as tears, perhaps I myself am deluded, and may be I am! But believe me, I do not say this without having witnessed it in other people although not in my own case, for there is nothing tender about me and my heart is so hard as often to grieve me.³¹⁸ However, when the fire burns fiercely within, stony as my heart may be, it distils like an alembic.³¹⁹ It is easy to know when tears come from this source, for they are soothing and gentle rather than stormy and rarely do any harm. This delusion, when it is one, has the advantage, with a humble person, of only injuring the body and not the soul. But if one is not humble, it is well to be ever on one’s guard.

9.

9. Let us not fancy that if we cry a great deal we have done all that is needed—rather we must work hard and practise the virtues: that is the essential—leaving tears to fall when God sends them, without trying to force ourselves to shed them. Then, if we do not take too much notice of them, they will leave the parched soil of our souls well watered, making it fertile in good fruit; for this is the water which falls from heaven.³²⁰ However we may tire ourselves in digging to reach it, we shall never get any water like this; indeed, we may often work and search until we are exhausted without finding as much as a pool, much less a springing well!

10.

10. Therefore, sisters, I think it best for us to place ourselves in the presence of God, contemplate His mercy and grandeur and our own vileness and leave Him to give us what He will, whether water or drought, for He knows best what is good for us; thus we enjoy peace and the devil will have less chance to deceive us.

11.

11. Amongst these favours, at once painful and pleasant, Our Lord sometimes causes in the soul a certain jubilation³²¹ and a strange and mysterious kind of prayer. If He bestows this grace on you, praise Him fervently for it; I describe it so that you may know that it is something real. I believe that the faculties of the soul are closely united to God but that He leaves them at liberty to rejoice in their happiness together with the senses, although they do not know what they are enjoying nor how they do so. This may sound nonsense but it really happens. So excessive is its jubilee that the soul will not enjoy it alone but speaks of it to all around so that they may help it to praise God, which is its one desire.³²²

12.

12. Oh, what rejoicings would this person utter and what demonstrations would she make, if possible, so that all might know her happiness! She seems to have found herself again and wishes, like the father of the prodigal son, to invite all her friends to feast with her³²³ and to see her soul in its rightful place, because (at least for the time being) she cannot doubt its security. I believe she is right, for the devil could not possibly infuse a joy and peace into the very centre of her being which make her whole delight consist in urging others to praise God. It requires a painful effort to keep silent and to dissemble such impulsive happiness. St. Francis must have experienced this when, as the robbers met him rushing through the fields crying aloud, he told them in answer to their questions that he was the ‘herald of the great King.’³²⁴ So felt other saints who retired into the deserts so that, like St. Francis, they might proclaim the praises of their God.

21413.

13. I knew Fray Peter of Alcantara who used to do this. I believe he was a saint on account of the life he led, yet people often took him for a fool when they heard him.³²⁵ Oh happy folly, sisters! Would that God might let us all share it! What mercy He has shown you in placing you where, if He gave you this grace and it were perceived by others, it would rather turn to your advantage than bring on you contempt as it would do in the world, where men so rarely hear God praised that it is no wonder they take scandal at it.

14.

14. Oh miserable times and wretched life spent in the world! How blest are those whose happy lot it is to be freed from them!³²⁶ It often delights me, when in my sisters’ company to see how the joy of their hearts is so great that they vie with one another in praising our Lord for placing them in this convent: it is evident that their praises come from the very depths of their souls. I should like you to do this often, sisters, for when one begins she incites the rest to imitate her. How can your tongues be better employed when you are together than in praising God, Who has given us so much cause for it?

15.

15. May His Majesty often grant us this kind of prayer which is most safe and beneficial; we cannot acquire it for ourselves as it is quite supernatural. Sometimes it lasts for a whole day and the soul is like one inebriated, although not deprived of the senses;³²⁷ nor like a person afflicted with melancholia,³²⁸ in which, though the reason is not entirely lost, the imagination continually dwells on some subject which possesses it and from which it cannot be freed. These are coarse comparisons to make in connection with such a precious gift, yet nothing else occurs to my mind. In this state of prayer a person is rendered by this jubilee so forgetful of self and everything else that she can neither think nor speak of anything but praising God, to which her joy prompts her. Let us all of us join her, my daughters, for why should we wish to be wiser than she? What can make us happier? And may all creatures unite their praises with ours for ever and ever. Amen, amen, amen!