第七章

描述了天主賜下上述恩惠的靈魂因自己的罪而感到的悲傷。這表明，無論一個人多麼屬靈，如果不牢記我們的主和救主耶穌基督的人性、祂神聖的激情和生命，以及榮耀的天主之母和聖徒，那就是一個巨大的錯誤。透過這種默想獲得的好處。本章是最有利可圖的。

1. 第六宅的靈魂為罪孽感到悲傷。 2. 如何感受這種悲傷。 3. 聖女小德蘭對她過去的罪孽感到悲痛。 4. 這樣的靈魂，以天主為中心，忘記了自身利益。 5. 記住神聖的恩惠會增加悔罪。 6. 默想我們主的人性。 7. 警告不要停止使用。 8. 基督和聖徒是我們的榜樣。 9. 默觀者的默想。 10、乾旱時默想。 11. 當我們感覺不到神的臨在時，我們必須尋求神。 12. 推理和心裡祈禱。 13. 默想主的生平和受難的一種形式。 14. 默想者默想的簡單性。 15. 靈魂在每一種祈禱狀態下都應該想到受難。 16. 需要基督和聖徒的榜樣。 17. 信仰向我們展示我們的主既是神又是人。 18. 聖女小德蘭默想神聖人性的經驗。 19. 放棄這種默想是邪惡的。

1. 1. 姊妹們，在你們看來，天主以如此特殊的方式向他們傳達了自己的靈魂，可能會確信永遠享受他，而不再需要為他們過去的罪孽感到恐懼或哀悼。你們中那些從未接受過類似恩惠的人最容易持有這種觀點。天主賜下這些恩典的靈魂將會明白我所說的話。這是一個巨大的錯誤，因為對罪的哀傷與所接受的神聖恩典成正比，我相信這種恩典永遠不會離開我們，直到我們到達沒有任何事情可以再讓我們悲傷的土地​​。毫無疑問，我們一次比另一次更能感受到這種痛苦，而且是一種不同的痛苦。一個像我們所說的如此先進的靈魂，不會想到威脅其罪行的懲罰，而是想到對天主的極大忘恩負義，他對他負有如此多的責任³²⁹，他理應為他服務，因為所揭示的崇高奧秘已經教會了它很多關於天主的偉大。

2. 2. 這個靈魂對自己以前的魯莽感到驚訝，並為自己的不敬而哭泣；它過去的愚蠢似乎是一種瘋狂，當它想起它拋棄瞭如此偉大的君主時，它永遠不會停止哀嘆。這些想法更多地停留在這一點上，而不是所收到的恩惠上，就像我將要描述的那些恩惠一樣，它們是如此強大，以至於它們有時似乎像一條強大而湍急的河流一樣衝過靈魂。然而罪惡卻像河床上的泥潭一樣，永遠駐留在記憶中，成為一個沉重的十字架。

3. 3. 我認識一個人，雖然她不再希望為了見天主而死，³³⁰但她仍然希望能夠擺脫過去對天主的忘恩負義的持續悔恨，她對天主負有而且永遠都會負有如此多的責任。她認為沒有人的罪孽可以與她自己的罪相提並論，因為她覺得天主沒有人能如此耐心地忍受，也沒有人能賜予如此多的恩典。

4. 4. 達到我所說的狀態的靈魂已經不再害怕地獄。有時，儘管很少見，他們也會為可能失去天主而深感悲傷。他們唯一的恐懼就是唯恐他收回他的手，讓他們冒犯他，這樣他們就會回到他們以前的悲慘境地。他們不關心自己的痛苦或榮耀；如果他們不想在煉獄裡待太久，那更多的是因為煉獄讓他們遠離天主的臨在，而不是因為煉獄的折磨。無論天主向一個靈魂施予什麼恩惠，我認為忘記它曾經所處的不幸狀態對它來說是危險的。儘管回憶可能很痛苦，但卻是最有益的。

5. 5.也許我這麼想是因為我太邪惡了，這可能是我永遠不會忘記我的罪的原因；過著美好生活的人沒有理由悲傷；然而，當我們生活在這個必死的身體裡時，有時總會跌倒。想到我們的主已經寬恕並忘記了我們的過錯，這種痛苦並沒有減輕；相反，我們的痛苦並沒有因此減輕。看到這樣的仁慈和恩惠給予一個只配地獄的人，我們的悲痛反而增加了。我認為聖保羅和抹大拉的人一定因此遭受了殘酷的殉道；³³¹他們的愛是強烈的，他們接受了許多憐憫並認識到天主的偉大和威嚴，因此一定很難記住他們的罪過，他們一定以最溫柔的悲傷後悔。

6. 6. 你可能會認為，享受如此崇高恩惠的人不需要默觀我們主耶穌基督最神聖的人性的奧秘，而是會完全沉浸在愛中。我已經在其他地方詳細寫過這一點。 ³³² 我被反駁並被告知我錯了並且不明白此事；我們的主以這樣的方式引導靈魂：在取得進步之後，最好在有關神性的事情上鍛煉自己，避免接觸物質的事物；但沒有什麼能讓我承認後者是一個好方法。

7. 7. 我可能弄錯了；我們的意思可能都是一樣的，但我發現魔鬼正試圖以這種方式讓我誤入歧途。受到這次重新咒語經驗的警告，我決定在這裡再次談論它，儘管我在其他地方經常這樣做。 ³³³ 在這個問題上要最謹慎；注意我冒昧地說的內容，不要相信任何與你相反的人。我會努力比以前更清楚地解釋自己。如果負責寫這篇文章的人能更明確地處理這個問題，他會做得很好，因為籠統地談論這個問題對我們這些缺乏智慧的女性來說可能會造成很大的傷害。

8. 8. 有些靈魂認為他們甚至無法默想受難，更不用說默想最受祝福的聖母或聖人了，他們的生命的記憶極大地造福和增強了我們。 ³³⁴我不知道這些人應該默想什麼，因為在這凡人的肉體中，將思想從所有有形的事物中撤回，例如永遠燃燒著愛的天使之靈，這是不可能的；我們需要學習、思考和效仿那些像我們一樣為天主做出如此英雄事蹟的凡人。我們更不應該故意努力不去思考我們唯一的良善和補救辦法，也就是我們主耶穌基督最神聖的人性？我不敢相信有人真的這麼做；他們誤解了自己的想法，從而傷害了自己和他人。至少我可以向他們保證：他們永遠不會進入城堡的最後兩座居所。如果他們失去了他們的嚮導，我們善良的耶穌，他們就找不到路，如果他們安全地留在以前的居所，那就太糟糕了。我們的主親自告訴我們，他就是「道路」；他還說他是「光」；若不藉著他，沒有人能到父那裡去；並且『人看見了我，也就看見了父。 ’³³⁵

2219. 9. 這些人告訴我們這些話還有其他意義；除了這個，我不知道其他任何意義，我的靈魂一直認為它是真正的意義，並且總是很適合我。有些人（其中許多人曾與我談論過這個話題）在我們的主一旦將他們提升到完美的默觀之後，希望繼續享受它。這是不可能的；然而，這種狀態的恩典仍然存在於他們的靈魂中，使他們無法像以前那樣推理基督受難和生平的奧秘。我無法解釋這一點，但頭腦因此不太容易默想是很常見的。我想這一定是因為，默想的目的就是尋求天主，一旦找到天主，靈魂習慣了用意志再次尋求天主，就不再厭倦用理智尋找天主了。

10. 10. 在我看來，由於意誌已經被愛所點燃，這種慷慨的能力如果可以的話，就會停止利用理性。如果這不是不可能的話，那就太好了，尤其是在靈魂到達最後兩座居所之前。 ³³⁶花在祈禱上的時間就會因此而浪費，因為意志常常需要使用理解來重新點燃它的愛。姐妹們，請注意這一點，因為它很重要，我將更全面地解釋這一點。這樣的靈魂渴望將所有的時間都花在愛天主上，並且不希望做任何其他事情。但它不可能成功，因為雖然意志還沒有消亡，但點燃它的火焰正在熄滅，火花需要扇動成光。靈魂是否應該在這種乾旱中保持靜止，像我們的父親埃利亞斯一樣等待火從天而降³³⁷來消耗它為天主所做的犧牲？當然不是；期待奇蹟是不對的；當天主選擇時，他會為這個靈魂做這些事。正如我已經告訴過你的，並將再次告訴你的，陛下希望我們不要因為我們而遭受這些苦難，並希望我們盡我們所能幫助自己。

11. 11. 我認為，無論我們的祈禱多麼崇高，我們一生都應該以這種方式行事。確實，那些被我們的主接納進入第七重居所的人很少或根本不需要這樣來幫助他們的熱情，原因我會告訴你。如果我在寫這個房間時想起，那裡的靈魂以一種奇妙的方式，在人性和神性上不斷地與我們的主基督為伴。 ³³⁸因此，當我所說的心中之火沒有在意誌中燃燒，我們也感覺不到天主的存在時，我們必須按照他希望我們做的那樣尋找他，就像在聖殿中的新娘一樣。頌歌，³³⁹ 並且必須詢問所有生物「是誰創造了它們」；正如聖奧古斯丁（在他的獨白或他的懺悔錄中）告訴我們他做到了。 ³⁴⁰ 聖女小德蘭可能在聖奧古斯丁的懺悔錄中讀過這一點，（見上文，第 78 頁），或是在《獨白》中，這是聖奧古斯丁、聖伯納、聖約翰的摘錄集。 Anselm 等人的著作於 1512 年在威尼斯以拉丁文印刷，後來被翻譯成西班牙文，並於 1515 年在巴利亞多利德出版，並於 15-53 年在梅迪納德爾坎波再次出版，並於 1565 年在托萊多出版。聖女德蘭所引述的話出現在第三十一章。參見《生活》，第 1 章。 xl。 10. 因此，我們不會像傻瓜一樣站著，浪費時間等待我們以前享受過的東西。起初，我們的主可能一年甚至很多年都不再更新祂的恩賜；陛下知道我們不應該試圖發現的原因，因為我們不需要了解它。

12. 12. 討神喜悅的方法肯定是遵守誡命和勸告，因此讓我們勤奮地這樣做，同時默想他的生與死以及我們欠他的一切；那麼剩下的就听天主的安排吧。有些人可能會回答說，他們的思想拒絕思考這些主題；而對於上述原因來說，這在某種程度上是正確的。你知道，推理是一回事，記憶將某些真理帶到腦中又是另一回事。也許你不明白我的意思；也許我無法正確表達自己，但我會盡力而為。以這種方式充分運用理解力就是我所說的默想。

13. 13. 讓我們先思想天主向我們所施的憐憫，將祂的獨生子賜給我們。讓我們不要停在這裡，而是繼續思考祂榮耀一生的所有奧秘；或讓我們先把思想轉向祂在花園裡的祈禱，然後讓他們繼續這個話題，直到他們被釘十字架。或者我們可以選取耶穌受難的某些部分，例如基督的理解，並仔細思考這個奧秘，詳細考慮需要默觀和思考的要點，例如猶大的背叛、使徒的逃亡以及隨後發生的一切。這是一種令人欽佩且非常有功德的祈禱。 ³⁴¹

14. 14. 被天主以超自然方式引導並提升至完美默觀的靈魂正確地宣稱他們無法練習這種默想。正如我所說，我不知道為什麼，但通常他們無法這樣做。然而，如果他們說自己不能沉迷於這些奧秘，也不能經常思考它們，那就錯了，尤其是當天主教會慶祝這些事件時。從天主那裡領受了這麼多的靈魂也不可能忘記祂的愛的這些寶貴證據，它們是活生生的火花，用對我們的主更大的愛來點燃心靈，頭腦也不能不理解它們。這樣的靈魂能夠理解這些奧秘，這些奧秘會比其他人更完美地呈現在腦海中並印在記憶中，因此，只要看到我們的主跪在花園裡，渾身是汗，就足以讓他全神貫注，不僅是一個小時，而是幾天。靈魂用簡單的目光注視著他是誰，以及我們如何忘恩負義地對待他，以換取如此可怕的痛苦。然後，意志雖然可能沒有明顯的溫柔，但渴望為他提供一些崇高的仁慈，並渴望為他承受一些痛苦，因為他為我們承擔了這麼多，在類似的考慮中，記憶和理解也參與其中。

15. 15. 我認為這就是為什麼這些靈魂無法對激情進行關聯推理，並且無法對其進行想像。那些不思考這個問題的人最好開始思考；因為我知道這不會妨礙最崇高的祈禱，也不宜經常省略讚美。如果天主認為有必要讓他們神魂超拔，那很好；即使他們不情願，他也會讓他們停止默想。我確信，這種王道對靈魂是最有幫助的，而不是在努力運用智力時會成為的障礙。正如我所說，我相信當達到更高的祈禱狀態時就無法做到這一點。在某些情況下可能並非如此，因為天主以許多不同的方式引導靈魂。然而，不要責怪那些在祈禱中無法多言的人，也不應該判斷他們無法享受耶穌基督奧秘中所包含的偉大恩典，這是我們唯一的良善，沒有人，無論他多麼屬靈，可以說服我最好不默想。 16. 有些靈魂，剛開始，或前進了一半，當他們開始體驗安靜的祈禱，嚐到天主賜予的甜蜜和安慰時，就認為不斷地享受這些屬靈的快樂是一件偉大的事情。正如我在其他地方建議的那樣，讓他們不要再如此專注於這種專注。生命漫長且充滿十字架，我們需要以基督為榜樣，看看祂如何承受考驗，甚至以祂的使徒和聖徒為榜樣，如果我們能完美地承受自己的考驗的話。我們善良的耶穌和祂最受祝福的母親是很好的陪伴，我們不能離開，如果我們為祂的痛苦而悲傷，祂會很高興，即使有時會犧牲我們自己的安慰和喜樂。 ³⁴²此外，女兒們，安慰在祈禱中並不那麼頻繁，我們也沒有時間這樣做。如果有人告訴我她不斷地享受它們，而她是那些永遠無法默想神聖奧秘的人之一，我會對她的狀態感到非常懷疑。對此深信不疑；遠離這種欺騙，並盡最大努力阻止自己不斷陷入這種陶醉之中。 如果你做不到，請告訴女修道院院長，這樣她可能會忙著讓你無暇顧及這件事；這樣你就可以擺脫這種危險，如果這種危險不再發生，那麼當它持續很長時間時，就會嚴重損害你的健康和大腦。我已經說過足夠的話來向那些需要它的人證明，無論他們的精神狀態如何，避免思考有形的事物而想像對最神聖的人類的默想會傷害靈魂是錯誤的。

17. 17. 人們在辯護中聲稱，我們的主告訴他的門徒，他離開他們對他們是有利的。 ³⁴³我不能承認這一點。他沒有對他神聖的母親這麼說，因為她的信仰是堅定的。她知道他既是神又是人；儘管她比他的門徒更愛他，但他的身體存在對她來說是一種完美的幫助。使徒的信仰一定比後來更弱，而我們的信仰也有理由如此。女兒們，我向你們保證，我認為這是最危險的想法，魔鬼最終可能會剝奪我們對最受祝福的聖禮的奉獻。

18. 18. 我之前所犯的錯誤³⁴⁴並沒有讓我走到這一步，但我並不太關心默想我們的主耶穌基督，而是更願意保持全神貫注，等待靈性的安慰。我清楚地體認到自己錯了，因為我無法一直保持這樣的狀態，我的思緒飄忽不定，我的靈魂就像一隻小鳥，不停地飛翔，找不到休息的地方。就這樣我浪費了很多時間，德行沒有長進，祈禱也沒有長進。

19. 19. 我不明白其中的原因，因為我相信自己的行為是明智的，所以如果不是我向一位神的僕人諮詢我的祈禱方式，我想我永遠不會學到這件事。然後我清楚地認識到自己犯了多麼大的錯誤，並且我一直在後悔，曾經有一段時間我沒有意識到，透過如此巨大的損失來獲得收益是多麼困難。即使我可以，我也不會尋求任何東西，除了他，我們所擁有的一切美好事物都是透過他而來的。願他永遠受讚美！阿門。

DESCRIBES THE GRIEF FELT ON ACCOUNT OF THEIR SINS BY SOULS ON WHOM GOD HAS BESTOWED THE BEFORE-MENTIONED FAVOURS. SHOWS THAT HOWEVER SPIRITUAL A PERSON MAY BE, IT IS A GREAT ERROR NOT TO KEEP BEFORE OUR MIND THE HUMANITY OF OUR LORD AND SAVIOUR JESUS CHRIST AND HIS SACRED PASSION AND LIFE, AS ALSO THE GLORIOUS MOTHER OF GOD AND THE SAINTS. THE BENEFITS GAINED BY SUCH A MEDITATION. THIS CHAPTER IS MOST PROFITABLE.

1. Sorrow for sin felt by souls in the Sixth Mansion. 2. How this sorrow is felt. 3. St. Teresa’s grief for her past sins. 4. Such souls, centred in God, forget self-interest. 5. The remembrance of divine benefits increases contrition. 6. Meditation on our Lord’s Humanity. 7. Warning against discontinuing it. 8. Christ and the saints our models. 9. Meditation of contemplatives. 10. Meditation during aridity. 11. We must search for God when we do not feel His presence. 12. Reasoning and mental prayer. 13. A form of meditation on our Lord’s Life and Passion. 14. Simplicity of contemplatives’ meditation. 15. Souls in every state of prayer should think of the Passion. 16. Need of the example of Christ and the saints. 17. Faith shows us our Lord as both God and Man. 18. St. Teresa’s experience of meditation on the sacred Humanity. 19. Evil of giving up such meditation.

1.

1. IT may seem to you, sisters, that souls to whom God has communicated Himself in such a special manner may feel so sure of enjoying Him for ever as no longer to require to fear or to mourn over their past sins. Those of you will be most apt to hold this opinion who have never received the like favours; souls to whom God has granted these graces will understand what I say. This is a great mistake, for sorrow for sin increases in proportion to the divine grace received and I believe will never quit us until we come to the land where nothing can grieve us any more. Doubtless we feel this pain more at one time than at another and it is of a different kind. A soul so advanced as that we speak of does not think of the punishment threatening its offences but of its great ingratitude towards Him to Whom it owes so much³²⁹ and Who so justly deserves that it should serve Him, for the sublime mysteries revealed have taught it much about the greatness of God.

2.

2. This soul wonders at its former temerity and weeps over its irreverence; its foolishness in the past seems a madness which it never ceases to lament as it remembers for what vile things it forsook so great a Sovereign. The thoughts dwell on this more than on the favours received, which, like those I am about to describe, are so powerful that they seem to rush through the soul at times like a strong, swift river. Yet the sins remain like the mire in the river bed and dwell constantly in the memory, making a heavy cross to bear.

3.

3. I know some one who, though she had ceased to wish for death in order to see God,³³⁰ yet desired it that she might be freed from her continual regret for her past ingratitude towards Him to Whom she owed, and always would owe, so much. She thought no one’s guilt could be compared to her own, for she felt there could be none with whom God had borne so patiently nor on whom He had bestowed such graces.

4.

4. Souls that have reached the state I speak of have ceased to fear hell. At times, though very rarely, they grieve keenly over the possibility of their losing God; their sole dread is lest He should withdraw His hand, allowing them to offend Him, and so they might return to their former miserable condition. They care nothing for their own pain or glory; if they are anxious not to stay long in Purgatory, it is more on account of its keeping them from the Presence of God than because of its torments. Whatever favours God may have shown a soul, I think it is dangerous for it to forget the unhappy state it was once in; painful as the remembrance may be, it is most beneficial.

5.

5. Perhaps I think so because I have been so wicked and that may be the reason why I never forget my sins; people who have led good lives have no cause for grief; yet we always fall at times whilst living in this mortal body. This pain is not lessened by reflecting that our Lord has already forgiven and forgotten our faults; our grief is rather increased at seeing such kindness and favours bestowed on one who deserves nothing but hell. I think St. Paul and the Magdalen must thus have suffered a cruel martyrdom;³³¹ their love was intense, they had received many mercies and realized the greatness and the majesty of God and so must have found it very hard to bear the remembrance of their sins, which they must have regretted with a most tender sorrow.

6.

6. You may fancy that one who has enjoyed such high favours need not meditate on the mysteries of the most sacred Humanity of our Lord Jesus Christ but will be wholly absorbed in love. I have written fully about this elsewhere.³³² I have been contradicted and told that I was wrong and did not understand the matter; that our Lord guides souls in such a way that after having made progress it is best to exercise oneself in matters concerning the Godhead and to avoid what is corporeal; yet nothing will make me admit that this latter is a good way.

7.

7. I may be mistaken; we may all really mean the same thing but I found the devil was trying to lead me astray in this manner. Having been warned by experience in this respell, I have decided to speak again about it here although I have very often done so elsewhere.³³³ Be most cautious on the subject; attend to what I venture to say about it and do not believe any one who tells you the contrary. I will endeavour to explain myself more clearly than I did before. If the person who undertook to write on the matter had treated it more explicitly he would have done well, for it may do much harm to speak of it in general terms to us women, who have scanty wits.

8.

8. Some souls imagine they cannot meditate even on the Passion, still less on the most blessed Virgin or on the saints, the memory of whose lives greatly benefits and strengthens us.³³⁴ I cannot think what such persons are to meditate upon, for to withdraw the thoughts from all corporeal things like the angelic spirits who are always inflamed with love, is not possible for us while in this mortal flesh; we need to study, to meditate upon and to imitate those who, mortals like ourselves, performed such heroic deeds for God. How much less should we wilfully endeavour to abstain from thinking of our only good and remedy, the most sacred Humanity of our Lord Jesus Christ? I cannot believe that any one really does this; they misunderstand their own minds and so harm both themselves and others. Of this at least I can assure them: they will never thus enter the last two mansions of the castle. If they lose their Guide, our good Jesus, they cannot find the way and it will be much if they have stayed safely in the former mansions. Our Lord Himself tells us that He is ‘the Way’; He also says that He is ‘the Light’; that no man cometh to the Father but by Him; and that ‘He that seeth Me, seeth the Father also.’³³⁵

2219.

9. Such persons tell us that these words have some other meaning; I know of no other meaning but this, which my soul has ever recognized as the true one and which has always suited me right well. Some people (many of whom have spoken to me on the subject) after our Lord has once raised them to perfect contemplation, wish to enjoy it continually. This is impossible; still, the grace of this state remains in their souls in such a way that they cannot reason as before on the mysteries of the Passion and the Life of Christ. I cannot account for it but it is very usual for the mind thus to remain less apt for meditation. I think it must be because, as the one end of meditation is to seek God, after He has once been found and the soul is accustomed to seek Him again by means of the will, it no longer wearies itself by searching for Him with the intellect.

10.

10. It also appears to me that as the will is already inflamed with love, this generous faculty would, if it could, cease to make use of the reason. This would be well, were it not impossible, especially before the soul has reached the last two mansions.³³⁶ Time spent in prayer would thus be lost as the will often needs the use of the understanding to rekindle its love. Notice this point, sisters, which as it is important I will explain more fully. Such a soul desires to spend all its time in loving God and wishes to do nothing else; but it cannot succeed, for though the will is not dead yet the flame which kindled it is dying out and the spark needs fanning into a glow. Ought the soul to remain quiescent in this aridity, waiting like our father Elias for fire to descend from heaven³³⁷ to consume the sacrifice which it makes of itself to God? Certainly not; it is not right to expect miracles; God will work them for this soul when He chooses. As I have told you already and shall do again, His Majesty wishes us to hold ourselves unworthy of their being wrought on our account and desires us to help ourselves to the best of our abilities.

11.

11. In my opinion we ought during our whole life, to act in this manner, however sublime our prayer may be. True, those whom our Lord admits into the seventh mansion rarely or never need thus to help their fervour, for the reason I will tell you of; if I recollect it when I come to write of this room where, in a wonderful manner, souls are constantly in the company of Christ our Lord both in His Humanity and His Divinity.³³⁸ Thus, when the fire in our hearts, of which I spoke does not burn in the will, nor do we feel the presence of God, we must search for Him as He would have us do, like the Bride in the Canticles,³³⁹ and must ask all creatures ‘who it was that made them;’ as St. Augustine (either in his Soliloquies or his Confessions) tells us that he did.³⁴⁰
   St. Teresa may have read this in St. Augustine’s Confessions, (see above, p. 78), or in the Soliloquies, a collection of extracts from St. Augustine, St. Bernard, St. Anselm, etc., which was printed in Latin at Venice in 1512, translated into Spanish and brought out at Valladolid in 1515, and again at Medina del Campo in 15 53, and at Toledo in 1565. The words quoted by St. Teresa occur in chapter xxxi. See Life, ch. xl. 10.  Thus we shall not stand like blockheads, wasting our time in waiting for what we before enjoyed. At first, it may be that our Lord will not renew His gift again for a year or even for many years; His Majesty knows the reason which we should not try to discover since there is no need for us to understand it.

12.

12. As most certainly the way to please God is to keep the commandments and counsels, let us do so diligently, while meditating on His life and death and all we owe Him; then let the rest be as God chooses. Some may answer that their mind refuses to dwell on these subjects; and for the above causes, this to a certain extent is true. You know that it is one thing to reason and another thing for the memory to bring certain truths before the mind. Perhaps you may not understand me; possibly I fail to express myself rightly but I will do my best. Using the understanding much in this manner is what I call meditation.

13.

13. Let us begin by considering the mercy God showed us by giving us His only Son; let us not stop here but go on to reflect upon all the mysteries of His glorious life; or let us first turn our thoughts to His prayer in the garden, then allow them to continue the subject until they reach the crucifixion. Or we may take some part of the Passion such as Christ’s apprehension and dwell on this mystery, considering in detail the points to be pondered and thought over, such as the treachery of Judas, the flight of the Apostles, and all that followed. This is an admirable and very meritorious kind of prayer.³⁴¹

14.

14. Souls led by God in supernatural ways and raised to perfect contemplation are right in declaring they cannot practise this kind of meditation. As I said, I know not why, but as a rule they are unable to do so. Yet they would be wrong in saying that they cannot dwell on these mysteries nor frequently think about them, especially when these events are being celebrated by the Catholic Church. Nor is it possible for the soul which has received so much from God to forget these precious proofs of His love which are living sparks to inflame the heart with greater love for our Lord, nor can the mind fail to understand them. Such a soul comprehends these mysteries, which are brought before the mind and stamped on the memory in a more perfect way than with other people, so that the mere sight of our Lord prostrate in the garden, covered with His terrible sweat, suffices to engross the thoughts not merely for an hour but for several days. The soul looks with a simple gaze upon Who He is and how ungratefully we treat Him in return for such terrible sufferings. Then the will, although perhaps without sensible tenderness, desires to render Him some service for such sublime mercies and longs to suffer something for Him Who bore so much for us, employing itself in similar considerations in which the memory and understanding also take their part.

15.

15. I think this is why such souls cannot reason connectedly about the Passion and fancy they are unable to mediate on it. Those who do not meditate on this subject had better begin to do so; for I know that it will not impede the most sublime prayer nor is it well to omit praising this often. If God then sees fit to enrapture them, well and good; even if they are reluctant, He will make them cease to meditate. I am certain that this way of king is most helpful to the soul and not the hindrance it would become were great efforts made to use the intellect. This, as I said, I believe cannot be done when a higher state of prayer is attained. It may be otherwise in some cases, for God leads souls in many different ways. Let not those be blamed, however, who are unable to discourse much in prayer, nor should they be judged incapable of enjoying the great graces contained in the mysteries of Jesus Christ, our only Good, which no one, however spiritual he may be, can persuade me it is well to omit contemplating. 16. There are souls who, having made a beginning, or advanced half-way, when they begin to experience the prayer of quiet and to taste the sweetness and consolations God gives, think it is a great thing to enjoy these spiritual pleasures continually. Let them, as I advised elsewhere, cease to give themselves up so much to this absorption. Life is long and full of crosses and we have need to look on Christ our pattern, to see how He bore His trials, and even to take example by His Apostles and saints if we would bear our own trials perfectly. Our good Jesus and His most blessed Mother are too good company to be left and He is well pleased if we grieve at His pains, even though sometimes at the cost of our own consolations and joys.³⁴² Besides, daughters, consolations are not so frequent in prayer that we have no time for this as well. If any one should tell me she continually enjoys them, and that she is one of those who can never meditate on the divine mysteries, I should feel very doubtful about her state. Be convinced of this; keep free from this deception and to the utmost of your power stop yourselves from being constantly immersed in this intoxication. If you cannot do so, tell the Prioress so that she may employ you too busily for you to think of the matter; thus you will be free from this danger which, if it does no more, when it lasts long, greatly injures the health and brain. I have said enough to prove to those who require it that, however spiritual their state, it is an error so to avoid thinking of corporeal things as to imagine that meditation on the most sacred Humanity can injure the soul.

17.

17. People allege, in defence, that our Lord told His disciples that it was expedient for them that He should go from them.³⁴³ This I cannot admit. He did not say so to His blessed Mother, for her faith was firm. She knew He was both God and man; and although she loved Him more dearly than did His disciples, it was in so perfect a way that His bodily presence was a help to her. The faith of the Apostles must have been weaker than it was later on, and than ours has reason to be. I assure you, daughters, that I consider this a most dangerous idea whereby the devil might end by robbing us of our devotion to the most blessed Sacrament.

18.

18. The mistake I formerly made³⁴⁴ did not lead me as far as this, but I did not care so much about meditating on our Lord Jesus Christ, preferring to remain absorbed, awaiting spiritual consolations. I recognized clearly that I was going wrong, for as I could not always keep in this state, my thoughts wandered hither and thither and my soul seemed like a bird, ever flying about and finding no place for rest. Thus I lost much time and did not advance in virtue nor make progress in prayer.

19.

19. I did not understand the reason, and as I believed that I was acting wisely I think I should never have learnt it but for the advice of a servant of God whom I consulted about my mode of prayer. Then I perceived plainly how mistaken I had been and I have never ceased regretting that there was a time when I did not realize how difficult it would be to gain by so great a loss. Even if I could, I would seek for nothing save by Him through Whom comes all the good we possess. May He be for ever praised! Amen.